Conversations with myself: the mental endurance training no Garmin can measure

When the mind starts whispering “not enough”

The closer race day came for my 100-mile ultra, the louder the resistance became.

It started subtly — a little tension in my left leg, some restless nights, occasional headaches. But then fatigue crept in. My body, which had carried me faithfully through months of training, finally said enough is enough.

One week before the race, I got sick. Flat out, unable to move, no running, no mobility — nothing but rest.

Physically, I was forced to stop. Mentally, though, the conversation had already been going on for weeks.

I’ve been training my body for over a year to take on this specific challenge — but the mental side has been the real work.

If you’ve read my previous post about everything that happened in the year leading up to this race (the moves, the redundancy, the upheaval), you’ll know that life hasn’t exactly been “steady.”

Thankfully, through my daily journaling practice, I began noticing a pattern in my thinking — especially during my luteal phase. (If you’d like to know how I train with my menstrual cycle, you can read that blog here.)

Every month, the same spiral: self-doubt, harsh self-talk, and waves of insecurity that seemed to grow louder the closer I got to the start line.

So I started to write down those conversations with myself. The ones that happened quietly — on the trails, in bed at night, and in my journal.

They’re raw. They’re not pretty. And they’re honest. Maybe, just maybe, they’ll help you catch your own negative voice when it tries to take over — whether that’s before a race, a big meeting, or just on a tough day.

The inner dialogue: negative voice vs. heart voice

Negative voice: You have no business being there at the start line of a 100-mile trail race. These are all elites.
Heart voice: I qualified for this race. I do deserve to be there.

Negative voice: You’re going to make a fool of yourself.
Heart voice: At least I’m trying and not shying awa`y from a difficult, seemingly impossible task. Giving my all is all I can ever do.

Negative voice: You’re fat and not trained enough. They’ll laugh at you.
Heart voice: That’s simply not true. I like who I am. And what others think of me isn’t mine to carry. Most people are focused on their own path.

Negative voice: You won’t make it to the finish line. What’s it all for?
Heart voice: No one knows what will happen on race day — that’s the point. I’m not here to prove anything. I’m here to find joy again in running, to feel freedom, peace, and presence. That is success.

Mental training: the quiet miles

We often talk about mileage, heart rate zones, and nutrition strategies. But how often do we train the mind that drives it all?

Mental training isn’t about silencing fear — it’s about recognising it, naming it, and choosing a kinder voice instead.

That’s been my work in these final weeks before my 100-miler: learning to listen differently. To stop letting the inner critic run the show. To remind myself that progress isn’t measured only in kilometres, but in compassion.

The truth about mindset

Every time I caught myself spiralling, I paused and reframed. Over and over again.Sometimes a dozen times in one day.

This is the real training. This is the endurance that no Garmin can measure.

Because when your mind turns against you, the bravest thing you can do is keep talking back with love.

Why I’m sharing this

These “conversations with myself” aren’t just about running — they’re about being human.

Whether you’re training for an ultra, building a business, or just trying to get through a difficult season, your mindset shapes everything.

And if your inner critic gets loud, remember: you always have another voice — your heart voice — waiting patiently to speak. You just have to listen.